I don’t write about my kids much these days because their stories aren’t for me to tell anymore. They don’t want me to take photos and splash them around on the internet. Hence a love heart photo 😉 I totally get it though.
But it doesn’t mean it’s because they are quiet, and we haven’t reached any milestones. Ha! So many blogs and instagram accounts only focus on little kids, and that’s ok, but there is a time when that stops. I look at instagram and think oh how cute is that kid, but I secretly know they’ll make their Mum stop sooner or later. I’m glad instagram wasn’t so popular when my kids were little because they do appreciate now that I didn’t have photos of them every day.
If you have little kids and you think you are busy or tired, or have no space, or time… then I want you to hear this message – Little kids, little problems. Big kids, BIG problems. Don’t wish for them to grow up fast. Because let me tell you, teenagers are the devil. Haha!
I think the best age for kids (my experience) is from when they are 12-15 years old. Under that, they are still little and you’re needed a lot. Over that, they are hard work, and bring on anxiety like you’ve never had before. Don’t get me wrong, they can make you laugh! The ruder the better around here.
12-15 years is a sweet spot though because they do as they are told, can look after themselves, have no freedom (as in jobs, cars, alcohol etc). They still think you’re pretty cool and funny. A 17 year old…. nope, they think you’re highly irritating, extremely boring, uncool and psycho. Livin’ the dream hey?? Haha! No wonder my Mum sent me to boarding school (jokes, love you Mum!).
I have no script to follow when it comes to my teens. I mean, we all don’t. I have no idea how this goes. I don’t know if I’m too strict, too casual, if I talk too much or if I expect them to tell me too much.
Their privacy is important to them, but so hard for me not to be a part of.
I was driving along yesterday and had tears in my eyes because suddenly it feels like you’re letting go. You aren’t the most important person in their lives anymore. I know this is just LIFE, but I don’t love the emotions that come with it. I know it’s commonsense and I know everyone says they have to grow up sometime, but it still isn’t an easy adjustment. It’s just because we fiercely love them that’s all.
I was chatting with my sister-in-law about this yesterday. She has 3 boys too. Pretty much all same ages as my boys. So, I know all the teen boy dramas are the SAME everywhere!
They don’t always do the right thing. They don’t always do what you want them to do. They aren’t always polite and full of conversation. They don’t tell you much, they don’t communicate like I want them to.
All my boys are so different. So you’re just juggling a bunch of issues, personalities and dramas all at once. I don’t know what girls are like, so I am sure they have a whole range of their own things to deal with! 😉
I’m a little more irrational when it comes to my kids and their behaviour. My husband is totally rational. Ha! He calms me when I get uptight. He’s like “stop Katrina, they are fine, go to bed, stop stressing.” I say to him stop being so rational, because that’s annoying me too! 😉
I guess you just have to keep going with your gut. I know it will get wilder and wilder around here. I’m only just scratching the surface with teens and young adults. I’m sure we’re in for 1 billion more dramas along the way.
I am learning that if it doesn’t feel right, then saying no is FINE. I know it makes them wildly angry, but a no is better than letting them do stuff you just have a bad feeling about. I say to my kids all the time I take this Mum-job seriously, and I reckon I’m pretty good at it, so I’ll stick to being the boss for now thanks. It doesn’t always go down too well, but I have worked out that boys do seem to get over stuff pretty quickly. They don’t tend to hold grudges for long.
I don’t have any advice because I don’t even know what I’m doing. I do know that there comes a time when their friends are way more important than you are. You can’t control what they are doing, but if you know who they are with then usually you can work out what sorts of things they’d be up to (to be honest even that sometimes can be a doozy!). See!! There is no script to follow!
How great is it raising teen boys?? I have 3 of them… 😉
Happy Saturday friends. ♥ KC.