The countdown has started at my house… it’s a month until I have my big operation. I had put it all to the back of my mind and was in denial. I got through Christmas, and some holidays and lots of other activities. But it’s getting real now. Kids are back at school next week and I am seeing the future much more clearly now. To be honest, I’m a bit nervous!
Yesterday I was looking for something to wear in my closet and it dawned on me “it’ll probably be the last time I wear this.” It was a long skinny dress which was slim fitting. Then I started flicking through other clothes and thought, yep looks like I’ll be donating quite a few items, never to be worn again. That’s a bummer! I am quite aware that is just one minor thing to worry about it life, but still, I guess it’s just the fact I will be making adjustments and doing things differently in a month.
I am also worried about how long I will be down and out. I really have no idea. I think hospital will be 7-10 days and that’s based on the operation the doctor thinks he’s doing. He did say “I am pretty sure, but sometimes you just don’t know until you get in there.” Hmmmm…… Then I will have recovery at home. I am grateful I have my Mum and my husband to help out. Plus the boys are old enough to look after themselves.
I feel a ‘nesting’ thing coming over me. Where I need to start a culling and cleaning frenzy. It will possess my body next week I’m sure haha. I’ll be cleaning out every cupboard in sight!
Plus organising my work stuff, and money… it’s stressful! I am such a creature of habit and like things to be the same. I am so obsessed with habits that I am the kind of person who could eat exactly the same thing every single day for the rest of my life and never be upset about it. I hate the unknown.
But in a way I am looking forward to it. I just need to be on the other side of it. My family and my friends are going camping this weekend and I’m not going. I am sick of missing out of those small little things. I am looking forward to not needing the toilet anymore, so I keep reminding myself of that. Onwards we go…