I turned 40 last weekend. Hip hip hooray to me. But look at my boys! To me, they are the best things in the entire world. They were actually beautiful to me all day. Not one argument or bad word was said. They knew it was my day and they really turned on their ‘niceness’. See, kids can be good when they need to be! 😉
I remember my 30th like it was yesterday. I didn’t love turning 30 because I remember having little kids who didn’t sleep, were in nappies and weren’t yet at school. I was trying to help my husband get a real estate magazine off the ground and juggle kids and daycare. I didn’t really love that time in my life. I was sick with Crohn’s (how unusual) and had been pumping the steroids in to me. I was about 15kgs heavier back then. But not healthier.
In this one above I am still sick, a bit ragged looking (filters help) but not sporting a steroid face anymore. Funny. But I think I can say I’m much happier and content now than 10 years ago. I feel more in control of everything. I love that my boys are a bit older. This is a good spot to be in. They are self-sufficient, fun and still actually listen to me. I have a lot more freedom to do what I like.
I probably fiercely love them now more than I ever have. It’s an age where they look to you for advice and it’s a time to really start teaching them things about life. Now is the time to teach them about respect, how to have conversation, empathy, selfishness, fairness and confidence. I am not always winning at this, but I certainly am trying.
Do you think the saying “you’re only given what you can handle” is true? I think I was given 3 boys for a reason. I am trying not to stuff this job up though! I am trying to make them in to nice human beings, not entitled brats. Sure, they have a pretty nice life, but it doesn’t come easy.
Here are some lessons I hope they will pick up on:
- It’s all about the WORK. Their Dad has worked in the same job for 31 years (not joking). He left school at 16 years of age to become a printing machinist. He’s still there. Has never had a sick day. He had the day off work when the boys were born and the day I came home from hospital (he worked while I was in hospital!). That’s it. No leave. He’s the hardest working bloke I know. And for that reason, he provides well for our family.
- No one will give you anything. You have to get it yourself. You want a car? Buy your own car.
- Don’t COMPLAIN. You can complain if you’re really hurt, but I don’t do whinging and complaining just because things don’t go your way. It’s up to YOU to turn it around.
- A HAPPY face is a start. Be grateful because you already have enough.
- Say the words “I love you.” Because you never know what will happen today.
- Alcohol/drugs is not the answer.
- Do not judge or criticize people. It’s easy to do though. But don’t fall in to that trap of thinking it’s ok to bag people. I am conscious of modelling this at home.
- You don’t need a million friends. You don’t need to please everyone. Find your “gang” and stick with them. Hang out with people who will lift you up.
- You don’t have to be good at everything. Just be good at SOMETHING. If you’re good at something it will drive your passion. You never know where that will take you.
- If you ever need someone, you have 2 brothers. If you need a mate to go to the footy with, or the pub, or whatever (when you’re older!), you will always have someone. Be nice to each other.
- You don’t have sisters, so dealing with women can be hard work! They are different, always remember that. They are gooey on the inside.
- Lastly, home is a safe place. This is where you can land when you need to. The door is always open.
WOW, that was a heavy post today wasn’t it? Ha! Turning 40 really got me thinking of those little faces up there in that photo. This Mumma bird wants to tuck them up under her wing and keep them with her forever. But let’s address this post again when I’m 50?? Haha, I may be eating my words?
How are YOU going if you’re hitting the teenage years? What’s your biggest lesson you hope kids will pick up on?