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Some days I don’t feel like I’m being a good Mum

There are no rules and we shouldn’t feel the pressure, but sometimes I just think I am crap at being a Mother. I just can’t shake off that feeling.

I was beating myself up during the week…

♥ They watch too much tv

♥ They play their ipods too much

♥ Oh, someone else reads to their child every single night for half an hour?

♥ We haven’t eaten proper vegetables for 3 weeks

♥ His pants are too short and I’ve neglected to notice

♥ I don’t talk to them enough about life

♥ My kids don’t know how to make their beds

It’s always something. That list can probably go on and on.

I guarantee at one point in our lives we are comparing our mothering skills to that of another. It’s just natural to do that, but boy does it make you feel like crap.

I’ve had that kind of week… where I’ve over-thought too many things and almost had myself in tears on Wednesday because I thought “maybe I really suck at this job“. Nothing in particular had happened. I don’t know what set me off.

I think I was feeling like I had to pull the reigns in on my family. You know that feeling (I know you know it!), when you just want to grab the kids and tuck them under your wing and re-group? I wanted to get them all together and cook for them, read to them, teach them things, fix their clothes… you know that MUM-STUFF. It’s a funny feeling you get when you worry about the job you’re doing.

But it’s a fleeting moment, and then I realised I’m doing ok. I’m not that crap at being a Mum. I just felt a moment of weakness. I mean, sometimes I still don’t feel grown up enough to have 3 kids. My eldest is 10! I think I have to pinch myself sometimes.

I’m doing the best job I can do. We all are. With no manuals and no help… I’m winging it like I always do.

Do you have those moments?

Update: The second you say you’re a little down in the dumps, people love it. They snigger and pump their chests out. I will block your ass if I feel like it. MY blog peeps (and MY twitter!). I do not want you to blow sunshine up my backside… I don’t blog for that reason. I’m just a sharer. Sorry, venting was necessary. Tall poppy syndrome in Australia strikes again.

Ok, I’m done. How’s the weather today hey? Freezing here!

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60 Comments

  1. Reply

    A-M

    August 18, 2012

    Just remember who pined their little hearts out for you when you were in New York. They adore you , you adore them. There are no rules. Never compare. A-M xx

  2. Reply

    Kate

    August 18, 2012

    I feel this way quite often. We both work and sometimes I feel like we’re in ‘survival mode’ just getting through the bare necessities of life. I’m 29 and my third is on the way and sometimes I wonder why I keep doing this because I don’t think I’m particularly good at it. But then I watch my babies grow and learn new things and I realise exactly why I do it.

    • Reply

      Katrina

      August 18, 2012

      I bet you’re wonderful at it!

  3. Reply

    Mawsiepaws

    August 18, 2012

    I’m not a mum so can’t empathise on that point, but I am a woman and know there are times when I do (or don’t) things and then second guess myself, my existence, my worth, the validity of what I have done. I guess it’s part of being a women – yours with greater respobsibilty (kids) and a judgmental audience (the slagers). Be kind to yourself on those days, remember there are many more supporters than detractors out here!
    Oh yeah, if they’re tall enough; teach the boys how to use the washing machine, far more important than making beds ;0)

    • Reply

      Katrina

      August 18, 2012

      You’re right the washing is more important!

  4. Reply

    Bron @ Stop That Owl

    August 18, 2012

    I always try to remind myself that if I really was a crap mother, I wouldn’t actually be asking myself those sort of questions, I just wouldn’t care. Yes, there are lots of things that I could do better, but my kids are happy and I’m sure they won’t look back on their childhood and remember that the bedtime routine sucked, the couch was always loaded with clothes waiting to be folded and that we ate ‘shortcut’ meals too often.
    I think it’s important to teach our kids that life is about more than just doing those things that we ‘should’ do, but about having fun and learning from our mistakes too.

  5. Reply

    Nerida

    August 18, 2012

    In keeping with all of the comments above, yes we all feel like this some times. You often talk about your boys and how much you love them, and I am sure they love you just as much. I had just spent the last 20 mins crying because our 14 year old coeliac daughter got contaminated by freaking crumbs at our nieces 18th birthday party last night. Beating myself up thinking why did we go and stay over the night. We shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves, but we always seem to keep doing it. xoxo

    • Reply

      Katrina

      August 18, 2012

      That’s terrible I hope she’s okay!!!!

  6. Reply

    brittney

    August 18, 2012

    I’m no mother myself however I have just come home from being a nanny for triplet babies, children are difficult (adults probably even moreso haha)but I’m a pretty big stalker of your blog and you’ve only got to read a few of your posts to see that you’re a fantastic mother and do such a wonderful job!

    • Reply

      Katrina

      August 18, 2012

      Thanks so much! Glad you enjoy!

  7. Reply

    Madonna Jenkins

    August 18, 2012

    I can add to that:-
    1. Cereal for dinner.
    2. Too lazy to shower the kids before bed sometimes.
    3. God forbid, tuckshop once a week!

    My list goes on!
    Be you Treens. You’re awesome!

    • Reply

      Katrina

      August 18, 2012

      I love your list! Ha ha! I’m stealing it.

  8. Reply

    Catherine

    August 18, 2012

    Hi Katrina,

    I’m sorry you’re feeling that way, but don’t feel alone beacuse we’re all right there with you. I hate to think about the update you’ve added, but again, please remember we’re all in the same boat!

    I also want to echo what someone said above; I have huge admiration for you. You’re business minded, taking on new challenges and getting out there and showing us we can do it to!

    Sharing the downs as well us ups is what makes us love you and your blog.

    Catherine

    • Reply

      Katrina

      August 18, 2012

      Thanks Catherine that’s really nice. Xo

  9. Reply

    Kerrie-Lee

    August 18, 2012

    You are not just not ‘ not doing a bad job’ but you’re bloody honest too! Yay! I really like it when mothers tell it as it is. x KL

  10. Reply

    Caroline

    August 18, 2012

    I love the “Mum blogs” who are brave enough to admit and document it for the whole world to see that some days they feel inadequate … we all do … go Katrina!!!

  11. Reply

    Kristy-lee

    August 18, 2012

    And don’t you just love it When people say ‘my kids never did this ‘ or ‘she should be doing this this & that’ ‘oh I never had that trouble with mine ‘!!! Ahhhhhhh thanks Katrina I’ve been wanting to vent that for ages!!

    • Reply

      Katrina

      August 18, 2012

      I love a good vent!! Go for it 🙂

  12. Reply

    joanna

    August 18, 2012

    Hi, I have read your blog, and yes we do all have these days, don’t think it is actually about us.neglecting them but more to do with us neglecting us. When I am down I think of the thing that makers me happiest, and that is spending the whole day.at the beach boogie boarding, flying the kite, and taking photos with the kids. It’s not for them it is.for me. Quite often your body craves meat when your low on iron, well I think you are craving time out with the kids. Life is short, have fun!

  13. Reply

    mcd

    August 19, 2012

    I think we all feel like this one time or another. Not a good idea to compare yourself to other mums:) You only ever see the surface of what others are doing. I’ve just read a great book called MotherStyles by Janet Penley, check it out, she reinforces that great mothering comes in many styles. And you can always cut those pants to make them into shorts:)

  14. Reply

    Kath McDonald

    August 19, 2012

    In my opinion, the most IMPORTANT thing you can give your child is LOVE!!!!!!!!! If a child is loved, they will feel safe & secure and everything else will fall into place as you go along the ‘journey’ together <3

  15. Reply

    Heather

    August 19, 2012

    How freshingly honest! One of the many reasons I love reading your blog Katrina. Yes I feel that way often, right now at 35 weeks pregnant I feel like I’m doing nothing more than providing a presence for my kids, and even then I feel like I’m not good enough. We’ll have a good week soon enough and it’ll make me feel like super mum again! But in the meantime I’m pleased I’m not alone!

  16. Reply

    Emily

    August 28, 2012

    I hear you. We all go through it, surely?! When I feel like that, I just remember what I was like as a child. I wanted to play computer games too, I never made my bed, and I didn’t eat my vegies even when they were cooked for me. But I turned out okay (I think?!).

  17. Reply

    Amanda

    August 31, 2012

    It’s so evident from your bog how much you love your boys and your family and that in my books makes you an awesome Mum! Sure, there are times when we feel like we aren’t on top of things, aren’t doing things as well as we can and all that but motherhood is full of ups and downs and those few ‘downs’ are more than drowned out by all the love and positivity you bring to your boys’ worlds and for the inspiring person you are xx

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