At some point in our lives, we do tip the see-saw too far in one direction and need to think about how we can balance it out again. I’ve been on repeat a lot this year and I would say a lot of it has to do with my health. I am always looking for ways to even it out again..
See, I reckon I’ve had a pretty rough run this year and I do feel like I am aging quite quickly. I’ve had 3 hospital stints for Crohn’s. And on Tuesday I had a skin cancer cut out of my bottom lip (it’s hell!) with 10 stitches (I’ve been drinking coffee out of a straw!) and another 2 spots off my chest. They are bandaged so I can’t see how big the wounds are but they are bloody sore. These are all related to being immunosuppressed, so when one thing heals, another starts up! Argh. 😉
I feel like I do spend a lot of my days complaining about pain, or feeling sick. I try not to, I really do because I have friends doing it much tougher than me, but sometimes I need to take a good hard look at how I can balance it all out again and not get too carried away with my own pity party.
Here are a few things which keep me going…
I do try to be optimistic most of the time. I don’t always like being a Debbie Downer. I like to write on my blog here too! I like to gush out some feelings every now and then. My blog feels like a vault of information that I’ve collected over the past 10 years. I also don’t mind a positive quote on Instagram. I feel that positive affirmations are helpful.
I am lucky to have my husband. It might sound gushy and I hate reading about other people’s smooshy stuff, but I know he was sent to look after me. I don’t have any family in Wagga, so I’ve always had to look after my kids and myself without any help. It’s just always been the 5 of us. The boys are so good and helpful when I need it. I do say a lot “I just need to lay down for 10 mins, can you bring the bins in…” or “you’ll have to get the bus I can’t drive today”. Bless their little cotton socks, they always step up when needed. I often wonder what they’ll think when they grow up. Will they say Mum was sick a lot when I was a kid?
I am getting better at just taking time out. I don’t care if people think “oh you don’t look sick, you look good.” Crohn’s and ALL the stuff that comes with it is invisible. I am ok with pulling out of something or saying no to an outing and just spending the day feeling a little under the weather. No point in getting angry with it.
I try to do everything I have to do all in one big block. If I have to meet a client, get food, or jobs at the shops I do it all in one big hit. I get up, slap on my face and get through the jobs as quick as I can. I also do this with work on the computer. I get into it as soon as I wake and get the important stuff done first thing. That way if I do need to have a rest I don’t feel guilty.
You know me, in bed EARLY! Plus I don’t mind a little day snooze if I can get one. I’ve needed a lot of day-time snoozing this year. I’ve watched A LOT of Netflix. I don’t even feel bad about it.
When I feel a little unbalanced whether it’s because I’m a bit unwell, or if I feel overwhelmed, I always return to a simple routine. Cleaning floors, folding washing, making beds may sound tedious, but I enjoy the simple tasks. They bring me satisfaction because they help me find the balance again. I get asked on Instagram why is my house so clean? Ha! It’s not always so clean, but see, I like to clean! It makes me feel better.
Pat a dog
Sounds crazy, but my little sidekick Bear really knows how to help me bring that balance back. He has been the best thing ever. My big boy gets anxious about stuff sometimes and we both agree that Bear makes us feel better. No matter what’s going on Bear is always happy to see you and give out love. I have found him to be so therapeutic.
I also feel less and less like I have to be social and check in on everyone else. Sometimes I scroll through my phone and think oh I should see how that friend is going, but then I don’t. Maybe that’s an age thing, or that I feel busy enough as it is, but I find I am better within myself if I just quietly get through the days without too much noise in the background.
What are some things that help you feel more balanced from day-to-day?
Thanks for reading all my rambling thoughts. I love hearing from those who have Crohn’s or similar. You guys are the best. XX