Living with a chronic illness is the pits. I never normally get down about this flippin’ crohn’s disease, but lately it’s wearing me down! I only just recovered from a drama and today I am feeling awful again. I knew yesterday something wasn’t right. I saw my Mum and my Aunty on Tuesday and we chatted about how I was feeling. I was like “yeah, I’m good now, great actually..” and then BAMMM, 24 hours later I am feeling terrible again.
I don’t think it’s an ‘active disease’ flare-up but more like other things associated with having a low immune system. I am praying it’s not another abscess. If it is, well then I will have got it quicker this time (not septic!).
I went to my GP this morning and he knew I wasn’t great. He said he wanted to slap some colour in to my face! Ha! I told him to do it. Or slap something in to me.
I had my bloods done and have been snoozing in bed all arvo. He said he’d call me later today. I’m just hoping that my white cell count isn’t too high. Well, I know it’s high, but I don’t want it to be high enough for a hospital visit. I’m ok though. I am obviously ok enough to be sitting at the computer. I’ve been trying to catch up on a little bit of work and emails as best as I can in case I am out for the next couple of days. I’m praying for a script, not hospital though!
It’s just that living on this roller-coaster really shits me. I have plans and things to do and I HATE having these interruptions. I won’t slow down though, and I won’t be ‘taking it easy’. I am a calm person generally and love life, so I’ll just keep going. I thought I’d get to the end of the year (at least!) without another medical drama, but maybe not. I am due to have a colonoscopy next Thursday (this was to see if we could find a residual abscess from last time), and I really do want to have it. I need to be well enough to drink the prep, and I need my blood pressure to go up a bit before I have anaesthetic.
Anyway, I’m writing today’s post in a bit of a slump. This is life people. Not always flowers and pretty cushions. Those who have a chronic illness will know how annoying it is, so I’ll keep writing and documenting my up’s and down’s. Maybe I’ll be heaps better tomorrow and I’ll show you something pretty and fun 🙂
UPDATE: This morning I have woken up ok. I spoke with my Dr last night and we decided to get oral antibiotics in to me. My white cell count is extremely high (higher than a crohn’s flare which means infection, but not as high as last time when I was septic). I was sweating it out in my sleep all night and I don’t feel too bad this morning. I am to ring my Dr at lunch time to talk him through how I am feeling. I think I will manage to stay out of hospital, and I’ll take antibiotics until I have the colonoscopy next Thursday. God I am so sick of myself!! So today, I will take it easy and hopefully by tomorrow the antibiotics will be working. Thanks for all of your messages and emails. I know a lot of you go through this too ie. living with a chronic illness, but we have no choice. My Mum and my husband are my biggest supporters and both of them last night were pumping me up saying “you can do this Katrina, you always do…” Yep, I’ll be ok in a few days and I will have forgotten about this little hump. XX