Yesterday we had a fabulous family day out with friends. Well it was fabulous in my head before we left…
I sent a message my friend Mel on Sunday morning asking if they wanted to do a BBQ in the park. It was going to be a great day. We packed the Territory with the Weber Q, chairs, nibblies, ice blocks, cricket sets, footballs…
I had my new fluro maxi-skirt on and wore my comfy thongs.
It was supposed to be a great day god damn it… Look at these photos – it was meant to be awesome! We tried to make it awesome.
BUT…
If I’m speaking the truth and not sugar coating my day, the kids were little sh*ts. They wrecked my whole day. Wrecked every little bit of it.
How do they know how to play us? How come they know they can say and do anything they like when hundreds of people are around?
You can pump them up, give them the talk, ask them to behave (and bribe them) in the car on the way to an event (and they will assure you they’ll be good), only to realise half an hour in to the day it would have been better to stay at home??
No one was happy yesterday. No one could get along. I’m looking at my husband in despair, he’s looking at me. I wanted him to do something, but what could he do?? You can’t grab them by the neck, you can’t yell. You smile through your teeth saying “wait until we get home.” Boys are strange creatures. So freaking aggressive! They wrestle, punch and yell. They yell at each other and the yell at me.
My eldest is exactly like me. We are the same person. This is why we find it hard to see eye to eye some days. He never backs down and is very competitive - that’s me all over. Ha!
So in our house we’ve said “never again are we going out as a family“. The kids can sit at home bored and yell and fight here. It’s much easier to deal with them behind closed doors!
I know you’ve all been through it. Kids are painful in the supermarket, at a school function, at Christmas lunch… they never ever behave when you need them to.
This is not the first time they’ve wrecked my day and it won’t be the last.
Little darlings, little angels…. NOT 
You can never make your kids do what you want when it counts… It’s like Murphy’s Law or something.
C’mon, you know it too. It happens! Tell me about your little cherubs?
I have three girls and although my youngest is still a toddler I feel like she already is following in her older sisters footsteps, I have an 8 yr old and 11 yr old and the thing that makes me so mad with my little darlings is nothing is ever good enough, a day at the park having a picnic with friends I would be in my element as a kid, playing away from my parents finding things to entertain us but not kids these days, they want want want and as soon as they get that, it’s what’s next! Honestly it does my head in. Kids are little sh**s, but our mothering is exceptional and I won’t have children tell us otherwise. Xx
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Katrina Reply:
November 12th, 2012 at 10:17 am
They are all the same! haha
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Oh yep. Know that one. We have days where they are at each others throats all the time, and days where they are back chatting and not listening ( especially getting ready for school). Drives me nuts. At least your photos look like you had a great day xx
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Katrina Reply:
November 12th, 2012 at 10:18 am
Was semi-ok! Glad they are at school today though haha!
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My biggest pet peeve with my kids (well with my 5 y/o daughter – until my 3 y/o son picks it up) is we go out for an entire day of fun and at the end of it she’ll pick the one thing we didn’t get around to doing (or didn’t do long enough for her satisfaction) and ask why it wasn’t done. Eg: I took Faith, her best friend and her mum to Caloundra for the day to go fishing, we waded out to a sandbank and fished and made sand castles, came back and played in the rock pools, went to our favourite cafe for our favourite chips and milkshakes, went to the park for a play and then there was a carnival going on further up the park, so the kids got to play a carnival ride and won a toy. Then it was time to leave and my darling girl turns to me and says “why did we only get to play one game?” ……… are you friggin kidding me?
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Katrina Reply:
November 12th, 2012 at 10:19 am
That’s so funny! Mine don’t do that, maybe it’s a girl thing! X
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A-M Reply:
November 12th, 2012 at 1:02 pm
Oh I so here you Erin, or when you give them a treat and they ask for just a little bit more, they push it. Grrrrr! A-M xx
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A-M Reply:
November 12th, 2012 at 1:03 pm
Hear! Sorry!
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Thanks for writing this post, Katrina ….. It means I am not alone
.My kids are 5 and 2.5 yrs and we have to have the day full of activities otherwise they are at each other and the house is trashed !! Every night my daughter has to know what she would be doing the next day …..it’s a good thing we love them a LOT!!
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This makes me cry, because I’ve been there! It’s so frustrating, and embarrassing, and stressful, and worst of all it’s hurtful! I shake my head in a wonder…I wonder how they can hurt me so much when I try so hard for them, and when we’re meant to have a lovely day and they go and do something like this. Then I realise they have no concept. What’s an orange taste like if you’ve never had one. They have no idea…no idea that I planned, wanted, dreamed and it was meant to be magical. They have no idea how much I love them. No idea what it is to be a parent. No idea how it hurts to be treated like this when you try so hard for them every single damn day; when every breath you take is for them and all planning is for them, down to making their rooms lovely and including them in everything. Ahhh kids. I’m learning too! As a mum to many boys I’ve had to learn a lot of stuff, and most of it I still can’t get my head around. I don’t get them at all! And I’m not sure I ever will. Perhaps the understanding will come when they’re parents and I’m old and grey…a bit late, but better late than never…
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Katrina Reply:
November 12th, 2012 at 3:10 pm
That’s what I said my my Mum last night “this is the first time I’ve had a 10 yo, so I’m learning too!” Little monkeys!
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You just described my whole freakin’ weekend!!!
My eldest (11yr old boy) has been banned from all electronic stuff indefinitely until his attitude improves……you’d think this would make him more difficult to deal with but it’s actually an improvement. He’s so difficult at the moment it’s sucking the life out of me! He’s a good kid but Whoa!!! We took them for a really long walk on Sunday afternoon until they were completely worn out ;O)
Tania xx
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A-M Reply:
November 12th, 2012 at 1:07 pm
Tania, my little one has been banned from computer games since the beginning of the year! He turned into a short tempered little monster when under the spell of those things. Now he plays outside and rides his bike and is teaching himself how to draw ‘properly’… he’s a different kid. The tantrums and melodramatics previously sucked the life out of me too. Had to do something totally radical. A-M xx
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Scandi Coast Home Reply:
November 12th, 2012 at 7:47 pm
Thanks A-M,
I’m so soooo glad it’s not just me ;O)
After I read your comment I suggested he get the drawing books out and have a go……he looked slightly unimpressed……tehe!
I’m sticking to my guns but it’s not easy.
Have a lovely evening,
Tania xx
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Katrina Reply:
November 12th, 2012 at 3:11 pm
I know, banning them is the only option!
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Katrina it’s nice to hear your family is normal.
I have 2 boys aged 12 and 3 and my daughter is 10. My daughter is fairly well behaved in public but the boys play up immensely.
I have tried the pinch only for them to yell out ‘Ouch stop pinching me Mum’. I have tried the warning ‘No playstation for you when we get home’. All to which fall on deaf ears.
My girlfriend told me this fail proof way to stop the kids in their tracks and behave. The trick is to break out into ‘Gangman Style’ in a loud voice and dance around. Or for that matter any song will do.
Only to threaten this turns my 12 year old into an angel.
Another way is to fall to the ground and have a tantrum yourself. The embarrassment of your mother doing this is enough to stop them in their tracks.
Worth a try as long as you don’t mind looking like a fool yourself.
Yvette
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Katrina Reply:
November 12th, 2012 at 3:12 pm
I have not stopped laughing at your comment. I even had to tell me friend. Soooooo doing Gangnam next time!
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Timely post – this is my family on a daily basis, however I have 4 boys! And I thought it was just us. So glad to hear that other families are going through this as well. Where is Jo Frost (aka the Super Nanny) when you need her? xx
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A-M Reply:
November 12th, 2012 at 1:15 pm
Hi Caroline!!! Have you seen Bill? I still haven’t been able to cross paths with him! A-M xx
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Katrina Reply:
November 12th, 2012 at 3:12 pm
I need Jo! That’s who I need!
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Oh Katrina, I had many days such as the one you describe and the one that stands out most in my memory is a trip to the zoo. It seemed the boys did nothing but fight, claim to be hungry, eat and get lost on purpose. I don’t know how I didn’t throw them over the side of the ferry on the way back to Circular Quay. Actually, they were too big for me to lift so that’s probably why! And then I had to face a train ride home because for some stupid reason I had thought a train trip would be fun. It wasn’t!!
I think it’s good that you can admit to having days like yesterday which you and the boys will laugh about in the future. It’s the parents who make out as though their children are and were angels that I reckon have got it wrong.
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Katrina Reply:
November 12th, 2012 at 3:13 pm
Hahahahahahaha I ma laughing! I know this all too well! Especially the hungry part!
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THANKYOU for making me realise that I’m not alone!!!!! I myself was asking why my kids can’t just sit still & enjoy dinner at the RSL last night or why at shopping they always have to run off, touch everything and walk infront of peoples fully loaded shopping trolleys as they push them along!!!!!!
Yaaaaay I’m not aloine
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Katrina Reply:
November 12th, 2012 at 3:14 pm
Hahaha yep! I’m hearing you!! X
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Oh we had a performance here this morning. Mr 10 thought he had the whole day off school as he had an appointment at the hospital for some food challenges, under medical supervision, for his nut allergy. Immunologist cancelled sick at the last minute so I informed son that he was going straight to school. You’ve never heard anything like it. I swear I had a tantrum-ing 2 year old in the back seat. I told him that I should be the one crying as I had been up since dawn, rearranging my day to fit in all the car trips to get big one to an exam and drive little one all over town. Grrrrr. They don’t realise how your life revolves around theirs. You are so not alone. A-M xx
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Katrina Reply:
November 12th, 2012 at 3:15 pm
I am laughing! I know it! Drive me crazy… I am sure my 10yo thinks I must serve him all day every day.
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I hear you K, I think it’s a boy thing but in saying that I think it’s the end of the year thing. You know end of the year at school and they are mentally shattered from the year that’s been and they don’t know how to handle themselves in a public situation actually lets face it in any situation. My 4.5 year old was playing with his 15 year old cousin yesterday and thought he was 15 by the end of it. Tried to give his dad a run for his money and lost big time. He was devastated Dad was devasted and there was me in the background. I am sure he only heard…..blah, blah, blah, no batman car from sant, blah, blah, blah bed early, blah blah blah. Major meltdown on top of bad behaviour. These little humans need so much down time to process everything in life but we are very busy these days and we and they are over scheduled and its hard to remember that we should actually just stay at home for everyone’s best interest
including there behaviours interest. Sorry about me novel. I will stoop now.
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I love your honesty katrina and you don’t try to sugar coat anything!! I don’t have children yet but I do know that I put my mum through hell!! She just says ‘I can’t wait till you have kids’. She is hoping they turn out like I was as a child so I know what she went through! Oops! As a kid I must admit you don’t really care much! How selfish and unfair! Now that I’ve grown up and can start seeing my friends have their own kids i understand so much more how hard it can be! Well done to you x
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This reminds me of taking our girls (2 & 4) to the Melbourne Zoo recently. It was a hot day and it should have been a fun day, but it wasn’t. They were constantly whining and fighting over who could sit in the pram. I was so glad when we were back in the car heading home!! I have recently started using the 1-2-3 Magic system with my girls. (I am a teacher and we use it with the kids at school too). It is handy in public places too, because its less embarrassing to give them a 1 and a 2 and timeout/prearranged consequence than be seen yelling at them.
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